The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Well, they went out with a bang! I found this installment of Bravo's Real Housewives kind of boring. Sure, there were things in every episode that made me roll my eyes, but coming off the exciting New York installment, this was a complete let down. In fact, before this episode, my favorite part of the season was Caroline's intro. It was hilarious, watching her pose with her "family" standing in the background. Classic!

I'd seen the previews for tonight's season finale and the idea of Teresa, wife of "Juicy" Joe, throwing over a table and being restrained from hitting Danielle, was intriguing. Up until this point, Teresa had only been guilty of being a bit of a stage mom, and having questionable taste in designing her home. But I was looking forward to this dinner party and seeing how they got to that point. But first... 25 minutes of boring stuff.

I'm aware of the editing involved in today's "reality" shows and I'm pretty sure the producers "tweak" things to produce maximum drama. Everyone shows up at the same time, mingle and drink and appear to have a good time. After they sit down and order dinner, Danielle and her two daughters stroll in. I'm not saying the producers told them a different time, but... You can feel the tension rise. There is some uncomfortable joking and fake, happy talking, and there's plenty of champagne flowing. Pretty soon, Teresa starts making inappropriate remarks. She's talking about how Juicy Joe wanted to get in her panties the day he brought her home from getting her "bubbies" done. (It's how they refer to their breasts!) Don't get me wrong, it was really funny, but there were children in the room. Not the place. But, her stories seemed to provide much needed comic relief and the tension level in the room receded.

And then this crazy freak, Danielle, reaches down into her bag and slaps a copy of the infamous book on the table. And just like that, I knew, IT WAS ON! For those of you who don't watch the show, Danielle's first husband wrote a book that alleged 25 years ago, Danielle, a stripper using another name, was involved with a drug dealer who kidnapped a kid who owed him money. She was arrested in connection with the kidnapping, although she denied any involvement. She later moved and changed her name. Apparently, no one in her current life was aware of her past and somehow (this becomes an integral point of the fight) the book starts to make the rounds in her community, tarnishing her reputation (so she says) and harming her daughters.

So everyone is staring at the book and I'm sitting in my chair shocked that she's doing it right now. I don't know if this was her idea or the producers, but I thought it was extremely rude but oh so entertaining. Danielle starts talking about how she wants to address what happened and snaps when anyone tries to cut her off. "I have the right to speak on this." Sure, freedom of speech is a right granted by the first amendment, but no one is required to listen to you. I should know. I only have 4 followers on my blog. (Hello? Anybody there?)

Danielle made some good points. She said she didn't feel she knew any of them well enough to tell them about things that happened almost 20 years ago, long before she knew them, before she had children. She understood that they might want to check her out when they began hearing rumors, to see if it was true, but while they may have personally looked into it, she didn't see why they had to bring the book into the public. She has made no secret of the fact that she believes Dina was responsible for this and directs her comments at her enemy.

Dina, who's been held in check until this point, begins arguing with Danielle and Caroline is trying to mediate but at some point, I guess she's had enough, so she steps in with Dina and it's 2-on-1. I know Danielle is crazy and she really brought this on herself by starting this, but I started feeling sorry for her. Like Jacqueline, I thought Caroline should have stayed out of it. Then Caroline dropped the bombshell: she was the one who made the book public! What?!? Caroline started taking it all on herself, saying that her family is thick as thieves (Really unfortunate metaphor, Caroline) and they would always have each others' backs. It was just too convenient and even Dina looked surprised and tried to stop her from talking. It looked to me like Dina had her story and was going to stick to it; Caroline admitting that she brought it all up messed with her plan. Danielle respectfully said she didn't believe it was Caroline. Dina looked at Jacqueline and said, " Why don't you tell her the truth of who it was?" It was like a needle skipping on a record. (If you don't know that sound, you are too young for this blog:>)

And then I got it. The whole season came down to this moment. All footage had been shot before the first episode aired. And after this little gem of a dinner party, the producers looked at the snoozefest they'd collected and decided to edit around this. All season we've seen Jacqueline pulled between Danielle and Dina/Caroline. We've seen Jacqueline be a little wishy-washy with her oldest daughter's discipline. We've seen Dina/Caroline's family and shown their STRONG personalities. And we've seen Jacqueline suffer through the heartache of her miscarriage and need support from her friends and family. All of that culminated in Dina's question to her, pretty much telling Jacqueline she needed to pick a side. What would she do? It would be believable for her to go either way, but I really expected her to decide to stay out of it.

Jacqueline proved me wrong and I was so proud of her for it! She called out Dina and Caroline and called them liars. She said that Dina showed her the book and spread it in the community and she was there when it happened! Caroline continued trying to say she did it, but the damage was done; we know Dina did it. Then Dina turns on Jacqueline and J's husband (also Dina and Caroline's brother) stood up for her. Not only did he tell them to leave Jacqueline alone, he told Danielle that she was welcome in his home and around his children. Oooh, D/C did not like that! Dina stormed off and Caroline left, with one last cheap shot, "You know who you hurt. My parents," she said, glaring at Jacqueline. It ended with Jacqueline hugging her husband who was clearly upset about this but who won major points with me for putting his wife before his sisters. As it should be. The bible says, Leave and Cleave, bitches!

When it looks like it's all over, Teresa begins engaging in the argument and Danielle, a bit condescendingly, asks her to keep up. I don't know what happened next, but Teresa starts cursing up a storm, dropping F bombs, like $100 bills in tacky furniture stores. She lifts the table, throws it and lunges for Danielle. Good Lord, does the government know that tasteful breast implants actually bestow the patient with Hulk-like powers? They probably never knew because no one ever gets normal sized implants. She was like a mad woman and the only thing that calmed her was a luscious kiss from Juicy Joe. God love him.

Ah, another season ending. Even if it wasn't as good as previous installments, the dinner party helped make up for it.
What did you guys think? Do you think there should be another Jersey installment, or should it just end there?
TNP